Just Being Yourself?
I enjoy reading the NYT Modern Love column but this one irked me a bit.
Dealing With Asperger's Syndrome, With the Help of His Wife
How can you marry someone without being yourself around them? Aren't the behaviors this guy describes something that would appear sooner than three years into marriage?
Then again, I'm not married yet so maybe I'm not doing a good enough job pretending to be perfect. :P
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Comments
That doesn't necessarily mean he lacks empathy. I have a crazy amount of empathy but I would have said the same thing because I'm an asshole. Is an empathetic asshole an oxymoron?
Nathan- Any time you meet someone new it's like getting into a pool and there are two types of pool people. There are the people who ease in slow, pausing at the point the cold water shocks their genitals, and there are the people who just jump in and get the shock over with. A good way of getting around the facade is to start out as friends. That way you get to know the real person and they arent putting on the false front to impress you. A good relationship takes communication skills and talking is really is a skill that a lot of people lack. In relationships were people arent real with eachother, I think the problem is that one or both don't know what or how to ask questions about the other person. People want tell you anything but the catch is you have to ASK for it. I believe a ton of relationships are filled with people who don't really know the other person because, in the back of their mind, they know they don't really love eachother but don't want to give up the illusion of love because they so desperately don't want to be alone. Ignorance is artificial bliss.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having the notion or a perfect belief that you a perfect being wether you are married or otherwise! If I were to imply logic to your stated arguement, the subject of this blog, there is only one of you,who is unique and this qualifies you as perfect!!!!!!!!!...................
As far as "Dealing With Asperger's Syndrome, With the Help of His Wife"
is concerned;
It is highly probably, that a persons demeana and manerism may change in any given circumstance and this would be an ideal example of perhaps a person or a man, who does not fully know how to be himself or simply has not accepted who he is fully in presence of his long term partner and therefore unable to deal with his Mrs !
That is my formulation on the subject matter!
Best Regards
Me!